Saturday, March 21, 2009


but, I've decided to temporarily postpone starting my diet.

I know, I know. I've gotten you all on board, spun this tale of sorrow and regret; made promises about how I'm different now, and ready to beat the snot outta the fat chick hiding inside of me with a bag of oreos under her pillow.

I'm doing exactly what I always do, quitting.

But, this time it's not my fault.

Because, it's Tub of Lard's fault.

I know that I should take responsibility for the fact that I've eaten an absurd amount of cupcakes, ice cream, and bacon recently.

I know I should take responsibility for not going out to run one single time this week. Wait, I did go on Sunday, that's still part of this week, right?

And, I know I should take responsibility for being a total fat slob.

I do. It's my fault, mostly.

But not entirely.

Because Tub of Lard and I are supposed to be doing this together, but she had to go on travel for her stupid 'ole job and then she's goin' home for a family visit and there is no way she is dieting right now.

As a matter of fact I'm pretty sure she's already had burgers, fries, and beer.

Which is fine. Totally fine.

But it wouldn't be fair if I started without her.

Even though this is not a competition (it so is not).

I still think it's only right that since we decided to do this together that we actually DO THIS TOGETHER.

So, I see no reason to hide the fact that as I type this I am eating ice cream from the container.

I know some of you are gonna stop reading our blog now because we're not serious or inspirational enough.

And, that's okay.

But just do us one favor: Check back in two months (ok make it three) and see if we've turned things around.

If we haven't you can tell all of your friends about these two fat, loser blogger girls.

But if we have, then we'll kindly accept your apology for loss of faith so early in the game.