Is it Friday yet?

I’m down a pound this week! Yay!

Not sure if I’ll be singing the same tune next week. This week is already shaping up to be pretty stressful.

Work deadlines, ex-boyfriend drama, and rental property mess.

I eat when I’m stressed.

Not good.

Seriously, is it really only Tuesday?

And an update on the dates over the weekend:

The Chubster is out, What’s in a Name still on, for now.

The Chubster just really rubbed me the wrong way on our date. He was late, which I can’t stand, I was there five minutes early not sure what his problem was. And I’m not being overly anal about it. He was late on the first date too, but I gave him a pass because DC traffic can be a bitch and he did call to let me know. But again, somehow I managed to make it on time.

So anyway, he was all antsy because there was a 30-minute wait, he tried to talk me into leaving (I was not) and going somewhere else (the town center), even though I just ordered a glass of wine. And it was Friday night, where wasn’t there going to be a wait? We stayed and we were seated right after I sipped, ok chugged, my refreshing glass of wine.

The next hour consisted of him coming off as cheap and old. Then the check came and he wanted to hop up immediately and go to—the town center (what is it with him and the town center?) and walk around. Not sure why we couldn’t sit at the table continue talking and enjoy the atmosphere of the restaurant he chose (a really cool Greek place!) but whatever, instead I went home.

Haven’t heard from him since. Hope I don’t.

I feel very blah towards What’s in a Name. He doesn’t say much but when he does it’s way too intense. Like, what’s your greatest wish?

Um, yeah, my greatest wish at this very moment is that you would tell me I look nice today because honestly I did put some effort into this, next time I won’t. Or wait, my greatest wish is that you were someone else…

And he only asks me out for Sunday afternoons. What’s up with that?

He’ll be out of town this weekend so I have some time to think about whether or not I’ll see him again. Who knows maybe he’ll do something incredibly charming in the next week and a half.

Don’t worry, I’m not holding my breath.


—TOL

This week’s weigh in was uneventful.

Nothing lost but most importantly nothing gained.

I haven’t taken my measurements in a few weeks but the pants I’m wearing today feel a little looser around the waist. I’d say not feeling like I’m going to bust out of my clothes all day is a step in the right direction.

I’m not even gonna lie and tell you that I’ve been exercising like crazy, because the truth is I haven’t.

I’ve only been to the gym once since enrolling and I’ve only gotten one workout in this week. I know if I want to continue to see results I need to pick it up.

So here’s the plan for next week:

Monday and Wednesday: gym after work
Thursday: core conditioning class during lunch.
Friday: DVD at home (day off of work for 4th of July holiday)

I have some concerns about exercising during lunch because as I’ve mentioned before I sweat like a pig. So I might not be able to swing getting myself presentable again and back to the office before anyone realizes I’ve been gone far longer than my allotted lunch break.

And on the dating front:

Going out with What’s in a Name and The Chubster (it’s been confirmed) again this weekend. This will be the second date for both and will hopefully give me some answers to what I’m feeling.

Boyfriend or just friends?


—TOL

So. Very. Fat.

Pretty much sums up how I'm feeling today.

Went to the pool w/the dudes, so that sorta ruined my not-doing-too-bad-lookin'-kinda-fly mojo that I've been on lately.

You know, the one that allowed me to give up my I'm an ex-chubby-chick-trying-to-lose-weight-blog for like a week.

Although, I must say that going to the pool also reminded me that I could be doing soooo much worse... there were some chicks there that were, let's say, well fed and not afraid to flaunt it.

Nevertheless, I'm officially back to hating my thighs and my waist line and my back (oh, the bloody back).

And, I guess the only way to get myself back in gear is to talk about it constantly, obsess over it until I can no longer stand the sound of my voice, and blog about it religiously for all the world to see.

By far, the worst part of my day has been the repeated stuffing of my face with the most delicious Crisco packed chocolate chip cookies you ever did see.

I'm so hating myself right now for overindulging in these fat laden goodies that I would seriously shoot myself right now.

If I didn't want to have another. I would do it. I really would!

Did you have a good workout?

I’ve been asked twice this week.

Once by a guy who was obviously just trying to make conversation as we were waiting for the elevator leaving the gym.

I was merely enrolling at that point. I explained that to him, we made small talk about the fitness center, I introduced myself….and then he inquired about when I planned on doing my workouts. He was kinda cute so I’m hoping to run into him again. Hopefully before I start my workout and am sweating like a pig.

Anyway, not the point of this post.

The second time was from the gym trainer as I was heading out.

“Did you have a good workout?”

Face red, shirt wet with sweat, walking slowly. It was obvious I had.

But I’m wondering, can you ever really have a bad workout?

I mean, as far as I’m concerned, any time I workout I would described it as good because I could’ve been sitting on my ass eating chocolate cake instead.

But maybe that’s just me.

—TOL

B is for Summer

Summer started with a B-ang.

B-aked goods...



B-each time...



B-aby pool...



and B-ackyard baseball.



Keep this up and I might have to retract all of my previous statements in which I bashed summer vacay and everything it stands for.

I'm sure tomorrow will have me swallowing my words, but today was B-eautiful.

Oh, and the cupcakes...

They were made with a diet soda and 50% less sugar icing.

Believe it or not they were also pretty tasty! Which is why I am so glad they were less fattening because I ate like 2 (or possibly 5, I sorta lost count).

What's the Point?

Of me posting on here anymore?

I rarely lose weight; I hardly even try.

I'm over using humiliation in front of the entire world (via the Internet) as a motivation to lose weight; because I obviously have no shame and can not be humiliated despite how much I suck.

And, I'm sure you are getting tired of listening to my half-ass attempts to exercise, eat right, and increase my sexy; because guess what, me too. I'm getting sick of myself talking about what I'm NOT doing to get myself to my happy weight.

Not to say that I'm going to go back to stuffing my face and sitting on my rump, 'cause I'm not.

I'm just not going to post about it so much anymore until I am actually doing something (or seeing a change) worth bragging sharing about.

So, expect to see fewer posts from me about my weight loss (although I reserve the right to talk about whatever other crap I'm interested in).

Besides, wouldn't you rather read more about TOL's online dating escapades, 'cause I know I would.

Hey, nothing like living vicariously through others; that's what I always say. Why focus on your own life when you can be all up in someone else's. Obviously I'm not alone in this feeling (see success of the reality TV industry).

P.S. If you miss me too desperately you can visit me here:)

Happy Day

Today was weigh-in day and I’m down THREE pounds.

Hells yeah!

I’m joining the gym at work today. Aerobics is over and it just makes the most sense financially and in terms of convenience.

On the dating front, I met a new guy, What’s in a Name (he has the same name as the ex).

We met for lunch but I don’t really have anything to say about him—good or bad. Not sure what that means at this point. I’m still over analyzing in my head.

Guess I'm kinda disappointed though because before we met I really thought I might like this one. Oh well.

So anyway, wish me luck on the weight loss because if I gain even a pound back next week I think I might flip my lid. So tired of the up and down.

—TOL

Hmmm....

I met the Young One yesterday.

I was pleasantly surprised.

He was better looking in person than in his pictures.

He was on time.

He was nice.

We had a good conversation.

There’s just one thing though….he’s gay and I’m not sure if he knows.

I however, knew right away.

“Hey, so nice to meet you! Nice bag!”

Yeah, his second sentence was nice bag. And not only did he say nice bag, he actually grabbed it to get a better look.

I had my suspicions going in. He’s really into fashion design. But whatever, so is Justin Timberlake, right?

I don’t know maybe he’s not gay, just feminine.

I don’t really care though. He was cool and I'd hang out with him again. Every girl could totally use a gay husband.

He can be Will and I can be Grace.

—TOL

Guess who’s back

Me! And I’m down a pound from last week.

I did have a really rough weekend though. I didn’t have any plans so I spent a lot of time at home. When I’m at home, I eat. And I ate a lot.

Cookies, tortellini, country ribs, chocolate covered pretzels. (And we’re not talking normal portions here.)

Anyway, I got my mind right again. I’m back on the wagon, taking it one day at a time. So far, so good.

I’ve also had A LOT going on on the guy front. Here’s a quick summary:

Oh Young One: First one I’m actually going to meet up with for a drink (or two). He’s younger than me, six years younger, and it seems like we are in totally different points in our lives so I don’t really see it going anywhere but what will a drink hurt? Plus, he’s lived in this area for awhile so maybe he could suggest a new hotspot for me to check out on my birthday. (It never hurts to start planning early.)

Texting King: He gave himself the moniker. I would say he is absolutely not the king of any kind of communication. Texting King tells me he’s a resident at hospital downtown. Call me shallow but seriously that doctor title was buying him some time. But after a week of random texts and very few emails we finally had an actual conversation this morning. It went downhill fast:
1. I hadn’t had my morning coffee so I wasn’t at my best.
2. He has a weird sing songy way of talking.
3. Not very forthcoming with details of his occupation.
4. Tells me he’s moving back to Iowa in a month.
5. And then proceeds to ask if I want to meet up this weekend.

At this point I’m finding it hard to believe he’s a doctor. OK, I’ll rephrase that. I don’t believe he's a doctor. He just seemed too vague about it. I’m no expert but I do watch Grey’s Anatomy and some of what he said, or didn’t say, just didn’t seem right. Anyway, it doesn't even matter at this point because he’s moving and I’m not looking for a pen pal. Gonna have to break it to him. He will not be meeting me. Next.

The Chubster (possibly): I know, I know, it’s a double standard but we’ve already established that I may be a little shallow. I can handle a few extra pounds on a man but we’ll have to see how many he’s carrying when/if we meet. I like what I like. What can I say?

Anyway, the conversation went well. We talked for about an hour. Good banter back and forth but I’m not sure if this is gonna get him out of the friend category. We’ll see. He gave me what I’m guessing is his standard “compatibility” test. The test included lots of questions about my cooking ability. (Chubster?)

—TOL

Getting Bored

I'm really getting bored with the whole being fat thing.

Like, I just don't feel like thinking about what I eat, and how much I weigh, and what my workout was like, and fat, and fat, and fat.

I feel like it's all I think about, and it's most definitely the dominating topic of conversation between Tub of Lard and me.

The funny thing is that I'm into my work outs (like, I would almost, maybe, possibly venture to say I enjoy them).

And, as far as food choices, I don't mind eating healthily. I like veggies. I like grilled chicken. I like fish.

But, every now and again (like a couple few times a week) I like doughnuts (or pie, or cookies, or brownies, or ice cream), and I don't want to feel like a fat food whore when I indulge.

I don't want to take my kids for ice creamm and feel like crying because I can't get one, or because I do get onem and then feel like puking it up later.

It sucks.

I just want to lose some frickin' weight so it can all be worth it.

Grrrr!

End rant. -3T

I couldn't help myself

Because today was National Doughnut Day.

Not sure why we have a National Doughnut Day, but figured if it's only like once a year I should really not pass it up.

So, I partook in the lovely holiday and enjoyed one glazed twist.

Who am I to pass up free doughnuts? -3T

So you're saying I’m fat?

Have you ever not felt really bad about a situation until someone told you they felt bad for you? They're really trying to make you feel better but it does the exact opposite.

My coworkers and I all ate lunch together yesterday in celebration of my boss’ birthday.

I’ll admit that ever since last week, I pretty much haven’t been on the diet wagon. I wanted something warm for lunch so bought my lunch in the cafeteria. I opted for baked ziti. It came with my choice of two sides. Roasted potatoes, corn, brussle sprouts, or green beans. I ended up with the corn and potatoes ‘cause I don’t do the other two at all.

So I get to the table and open my container and the remarks begin. Talk about the odd combination (I know, but it was the best option), all the carbs (I know), how the cafeteria’s food isn’t that great (again, I know).

Talk continues about my lunch and my boss throws in that she usually cooks very healthy meals for her family like chicken and salmon and that when her son goes to college next year he’s gonna have to watch out because that [points to my lunch] is the type of food they’ll be serving him and he’ll end up getting fat.

Um, yeah, so you’re saying I’m fat?

When this all went down I pretty much brushed it off and thought leave me alone you skinny bitches.

Well, today a coworker who witnessed it brought it up to let me know how bad he felt bad for me and wished they would have just left me alone. Then he went on to recap a few of the highlights for me. “...and then she pointed at your food and said her son was gonna get fat…”

Thank you.

—TOL

Single in the suburbs

I’ve never really dated. I’m 30 years old and have been on only four dates with men that I didn’t really know, meaning we weren’t friends first, we didn’t work together…you get it. I’m also typically a relationship girl which has lead to my issue. Too much time spent with the wrong ones. My last relationship ended for good in January after many, too damn many, years of back and forth.

So now I’m trying to meet new people. How exactly does one go about meeting a nice guy?

I’ve tried the live life and don’t worry about it. Cause when you aren’t looking he will come right? Well guess what. My man is a no show, he stood me up.

I could go with the friend of the friend route. I hang out with 3T and her family a lot and though I love them I’m not going to meet anyone this way. One, all their friends are married couples and two, the only eligible bachelor that they know showed interest in me and after three months, our casual dating it has already run its course.

So I’m trying my hand at online dating. I figure it can’t really hurt, unless of course I meet a crazed psycho who chops me up in little pieces. Ha! (Don’t worry Mom, I’m being careful.)

I’ve been at it for a couple weeks now and am getting the swing of it. I must admit that the first few days were extremely overwhelming. Apparently, when a fresh and fine prime piece of meat (that would be me) appears on the site the men get excited. The interest was pouring in.

I thought that online dating would be way easier and less time consuming than doing it the old fashioned way. Now that I’ve gotten into a routine, it is, but it still takes time and some work. I mean, I’ve already realized that I better double check my email thread before sending a new message since I sometimes can’t remember how much I’ve already revealed about myself to someone. And I’d look a little crazy repeating myself or asking them the same questions over and over again.

I’ve also learned that you can’t be nice to everyone. In real life I try not to hurt anyone’s feelings and am generally friendly to most men who try to make casual conversation, aka try to pick me up. But online I can just ignore the crazies who apparently have way too much self esteem. Because Sir, if you had really taken to the time to even read part of my profile you’d see that we have absolutely nothing in common nor am I looking for someone who is older than my dad.

So we’ll see how things pan out. I’ve already spoken to one guy, Mr. Party All the Time, on the phone and pretty much know we aren’t a match made in heaven. I do like the efficiency of this. At least I didn’t waste an afternoon or evening chatting this guy up. A few emails, a telephone call and dunzo. Next.

—TOL

Can you say failure?

I can because I get tons of practice.

I fully enjoyed my family trip to Hershey.

It was a deliciously awesome day of chocolate covered happiness.

What I did not enjoy was stepping on the scale Sunday afternoon to discover that I had regained the coveted 3lbs. I had begged, borrowed, and stolen to lose.

So, similarly to Tub of Lard, I am right back to where I was when I started Campaign Fat Loss.

But, not for long.

Despite the fact that I had to finish off all of the left over Hershey happiness I had lying around the house today, I am back on the starving myself religiously wagon.

Since Tub of Lard and I are going to the SITScation in October, we are making a new vow of denial so that we can look almost as hot as Angie from SevEn cLoWn CirCuS or Mama Kat from Mama's Losin' It or all of the other amazing ladies that will be attending.

So, Tub of Lard, get your game face on 'cause we're gonna do this:)

I suck!

Well, guess walking around Hershey Park didn’t quite burn off as many calories as I had hoped.

I suck at this weight loss stuff.

I managed to put on four pounds this week. Yep, four pounds.

The really shitty part about putting on four pounds is that I’m now only one pound lighter then when I started this whole shrink my ass program. And that was, what, like three months ago.

I’m feeling really discouraged.

—TOL