My grill is jacked...again

I lived through five years of orthodontic work. To put it nicely, my grill was jacked. I had an extreme overbite, I had to have four teeth pulled because of overcrowding, my two front teeth sat like a "v" and were so big they had to be filed down. Yes, they had to be filed down! So not cute.

So after my parents shelled out all their hard earned cash to fix my teeth you'd think I'd have the perfect smile because, really I should. But back in the day when I got my braces taken off the retainer that I was supposed to wear to keep my teeth in their new perfect resting place, was made of wire, and uncomfortable and just not cool. So being the stubborn-know-it-all-13-year-old that I was, that thing laid around and collected dust.

And you know what happened? Exactly what my orthodontist, my parents and everyone who knows anything told me would happen—my bottom teeth, not so pretty and straight anymore. And it freaking sucks! After all those years of pain, cracked lips, cut cheeks…my grill is jacked again.

When I got my first real job after college Invisalign was the new thing and I was all about getting it. I made an appointment at the orthodontist and was told that I’m a great candidate. That was until they told me the price. Other options given to me where the standard wire braces but I really wanted Invisalign since I didn't want to endure the wires, look and pain of traditional braces like I had in the past. I was just starting out and just couldn’t afford it so I settled for a new and improved retainer to keep my teeth from moving any more than they already had. I figured in a few years once I was more established in my career I would get Invisalign.

But bills and added expenses piled up life went on, and it hasn’t happened.

Your grill smile is the first thing people notice when meeting you. I would love to have the opportunity to finish what I started 23 years ago.

**this post is an entry to the Invisalign Teen “Tell Us What a New Smile Means to You” Contest!

The Joys of Online Dating

I’ve found that online dating loses its appeal after about a month. That’s when the bombardment of emails from interested strangers goes from flattering to overwhelming and annoying. I’m currently in week six.

Top 5 reasons why online dating is currently sucking

1) It’s freaking time consuming. It’s seriously like a part-time job. I spend all day on a computer at work. Then I come home and spend at least an hour emailing, answering questions and pretending to pouring my deepest hopes and dreams to…strangers. I recently read an article about a company who does all this work for you. They do all the flirty, online banter and all you have to do is go on the dates. I would hire them if I had the cash to blow.

2) It’s overwhelming. I’m communicating with way too many men. I know it’s my fault, I could not respond to more of them, but they all seem to contact me at the same time and now I’m communicating with eight guys who I’ll probably never even meet. I just haven’t figured out how to weed out all the losers from the beginning. I really hate juggling and kinda suck at it...because it's overwhelming.

3) A lot of the dudes are losers. They don’t understand how to ask a woman out, or even get to know someone for that matter. Sending an email that says, “You should call me,” will not get you anywhere with me, because I will not be calling you…ever. Some girls my like that. I do not.

4) A lot of the dudes are losers. And rude. If I give you my phone number, please don’t call me at 10:45 p.m. on a Tuesday to chat for the first time. I’m sleeping. And then don’t leave a message. Then wait a week call again at the same time, this time leave a message but tell me it’s only OK for me to call you back if I’m up right now. If not, you’ll be contacting me later on in the week. Makes me think you’re hiding something, like a wife.

5) A lot of the dudes are losers. They are mostly ugly unattractive. And I’m not looking for perfection. Looks can grow on me if you have a good personality but, they can’t even bring that to the table.

Accent Cellulite Treatment Update

After a lot of back and forth at my first session (thank you Dawn and Lisa for helping me through my crazy!) I decided to have the fronts of my thighs treated. (So from the top of the knee to the mid-thigh area.) This isn't really the part of my thigh with the "deepest" cellulite, which for me is on my hip area, but it's the area that I felt would be most practical for my life.

I mean, my goal is to wear shorts and shorter skirts and dresses. I'm never in a bathing suit and if I'm naked in front of you, you don't care about my cellulite anyway. At least you better not.

I'm doing very well with the treatments. They aren't painful at all. Only a little hot at times but never, ever uncomfortable. I'd describe them as a warm massaging feeling.

I've had three sessions and haven't seen any dramatic changes, I'm not rockin' the shorts yet, but I have noticed some slight improvements. Word! I was told from the beginning that it usually takes four treatments to start seeing improvements, so this is pretty much what I expected. I think I will take photos after my next appointment too since it will be the halfway point. Plus it'll make it easier to see what's really going on.

I had the golden ticket

A couple of weeks ago I won the cellulite reshaping package from BE Lifestyle MedSpa during the Momz Share* Silver Spring Soiree raffle.

I was so happy I totally lost my shit.

At first, I couldn’t believe I won.

I just stood there staring at the ticket. I think I may have even asked for a repeat of the numbers. The BFF probably repeated about three times, “Dude, you won,” before I could except that I, the girl who never wins anything, the one with the worst luck in the world, had actually won something that she really, really wanted.


I have obsessed about the cellulite on my thighs for years. I've tried all sorts of crazy antics to get rid of the crap (you can read about it here) but never in a million years did I think that I would be getting any kind of real cosmetic procedure.

Until now...

So, I went in for my consultation and last week. I was a little nervous, you know the whole taking off your clothes and pointing out your fatty areas to strangers thing, but everyone was super nice and made me feel very comfortable. Dr. Cohen was the plastic surgeon who saw me and he thinks I'm a perfect candidate for the Accent cellulite body reshaping treatments and that I should see great results! I then spoke with Marian who explained the entire procedure in detail and let me ask 101 questions.

I'm totally in.

I set up my first appointment for next week. I'm so excited to get started. I still can't believe that it's actually going to happen.

I'm also having a VISIA complexion skin analysis of my face done. It'll provide an assesment of my skin features, like wrinkles and sun damage that can't be seen with the naked eye. This way I'm sure that my skin-care treatment is tailored especially for my needs. Pretty cool.

So, maybe the next time you see me I'll be showin' some thigh.**

*No, you didn’t miss anything. Still not a momma, just a certified mom-blog-stalker, so they let me hang.
**Something I haven't done since circa 2001.

Back on the Wagon

I'm officially back on the wagon.

I'm once again a paying member of the weight watchers (WW) online program.

Why? Because when not closely monitored, I can't be trusted to make the right food choices or eat the proper portions.

How do I know this? I've gained eight pounds since kicking WW to the curb at the end of February.

"I know the rules. Why I'm I still paying for this?," I thought.

And I've learned, that I can't be trusted to follow the rules unless I'm actually documenting and counting the points that I'm consuming each day.

I cannot be trusted.

I don't want to totally lose control when I've come so far, so it's back on the wagon for me. 22 points a day! Whew!

My Cellulite Story

Even after my recent weight loss I won't wear shorts, or a bathing suit, or a short skirt or pretty anything that shows my thighs in public. And it's all because of cellulite.


It rules my life.


It's a problem. I know.


I'm working on it.


I found this really awesome blog called the Cellulite Investigation. You should check it out. And not just because I'm currently there sharing my personal Cellulite Story (code name: YoYo CoCo) but because there is just so much useful information. Now go, check it out!

Looking For Me?!

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Guest posting over at parenting BY dummies today so come check me out!